Episode 71: Downsizing

Beth Logullo of Great Transitions and Keller Williams gives great tips on downsizing.

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Downsizing
 [00:00:00] [00:01:00] 
For over 37 years, the Alzheimer's and Dementia Resource Center, ADRC, has served as a Central Florida based grassroots non profit and community resource center. They are dedicated to providing support and hope for families and individuals caring for someone they love who is living with Alzheimer's disease or other dementia related illnesses.[00:02:00] 
ADRC empowers caregivers with the knowledge, support, skills, and strategies they need to help them confidently prepare for the challenges that lie ahead. To learn more, visit the website ADRCCares. org.
Robin: Welcome back. Today we are talking with Beth Logullo about downsizing and holding onto our stuff and difficult stuff. But the reason you're in it, Beth, is you are a realtor. Correct. And what is the name of your company? We're the Great Transitions Senior Living Seminar Series at Keller Williams Winter Park.
Wow. That's a mouthful. And where could they find you online? Uh, GTFlorida. com is the best place to find out about our seminar series. And then there are pathways in that website to take you to all things you need. And I'm just thinking, as we get older, We might start thinking about downsizing, which sounds good in theory, terrifying [00:03:00] in a way as well, because I think, I know I have a lot of crap in my house and it just piles up and those Amazon boxes keep coming, so I try to, when something new comes in, take something else, but I wish I would have started that, you know, 30 years ago.
That would have been a fabulous idea. But you also deal with seniors. And you're specialized in that. Correct. Correct. Many of our clients have been in their homes for 30, 40, 50 plus years. Wow. And in that amount of time, you can imagine what has been accumulated and how overwhelming the prospect of moving is.
is. All right. So you also are certified in downsizing. Right. I'm a certified senior downsizing coach, which means I get to ask lots of fun questions and help our clients self discover, the ways that they can make, , a transition happen. All right. Now, Edith, a few years back, you moved. I did. I did. It was 18 years [00:04:00] of accumulation.
Went from about 2000 square feet to a little over 13 I think Um, the big, the big painful was no garage because the garage holds all your sins, right? We thought we were doing good if we could just get one car in, so we were still good. And we did. We got really and truly got rid of a lot of stuff, , but not enough.
We did not get rid of enough stuff because I still have three sets of dishes. It's like, what are you doing? Oh, use one set. I have three children and I'm telling you, they don't want it either. They don't want it either. So, we try to, not, , add that is our big plan right now.
, uh, we, we get a chuckle out of if we're in a shop or something. We'll say, Oh, nope, got that. Nope. Got that. Isn't it sad? We go down this, you know, this whole shop, we go into Williams Sonoma. We don't need anything. We got it all. And it's not a joke. Yeah. Um, I, I think it's. [00:05:00] difficult to make those decisions.
You get the emotions going. It's like, well, I really hate this ugly old plate, but geez, it was my mom's and she's gone and right. So I'm thinking with the coaching title, Beth, that it's a lot of emotions to navigate
Beth: a hundred percent. 
Yeah. Yeah. It's a very emotional process. And when you get caught in that , overwhelmed state, it really breaks the connections in your brain and it almost paralyzes you.
It's like, you're just moving things from one side of the room to the other and that doesn't help. We need to always be decluttering and downsizing and looking at things to ask the question, is it beautiful or is it useful? is sometimes helpful and like you, Edith, I'm a dish junkie. I got five sets of dishes.
I'm not going to tell you how many I did have. Okay. I'm proud of only having three. You're reformed. [00:06:00] I am reformed. It's progress, right? It is. It is. Um, but we'll talk through some of those things and a lot of times having a third party there Even if it is your kids that don't want things, uh, to say, well, tell me about that and how did you come by it, um, to be able to tell the stories behind it before you opt to bless those items on to someone else.
Mm. 
Edith: Yeah. I have, other than dishes, books, right? Books, books, books. Guilty? I have a set of Bulwer Lytton at my youngest sister's house right now waiting for me because she brought them back from New York out of my parents home. And I was like, oh my gosh. Oh, okay, thank you. It's a set of what? 
Bulwer Lytton. What's that? It's a set of books that my parents had, my dad had. Like encyclopedia type books? No, they're stories, they're, yeah. And I'm really, really glad to have them but I was a little startled by it. How [00:07:00] many are they? Um, I'm not sure. I don't remember. It's been a while. A number shelf full. Yeah. At least shelf full. Mm-Hmm. . Okay. Of which. I don't have a shelf. So now I have to go buy a new bookcase. Or, or, get rid of some books. Oh yeah, no, that'll never happen. That is something that someone will have to inherit.
I'm physically incapable. I have my original copy of To Kill a Mockingbird and it's going with me. Wow. Okay. That's impressive. You know. So if, if someone has made up their mind that they're going to move and they do need to downsize, where do you, where do you start? We start with, , we have a, basically an umbrella of vendors that we work with.
And so we start with an organizer and she is fantastic. We've got a couple that we use, And what I like about, , the organizers, I say she could be a he is that they're [00:08:00] able to help us or the client talk through some of the, , feelings around the items, to talk through, that's a beautiful set of dishes and that's a beautiful set of dishes.
Where did you get them? , when was the last time you used them? What kind of memories does it evoke when you see them? Those sorts of things, it's really kind of like therapy to look through the items. And then the focus, and I referenced this a little bit ago, is blessing the items onto someone else. So we talk about, I gotta get rid of stuff, but that sounds so negative.
Mm hmm. There are people that actually want dishes. Maybe it's for a project that they're doing. Maybe they want dishes to serve a dinner on. And so there are different ways in which we can look at doing that. Whether it's a donation or an estate sale at someone's home. But. Starting with that organizer, [00:09:00] uh, someone that's likely a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers is a great way to get the ball rolling and what we find is, you can't conjure up motivation.
Action creates motivation. Okay. And so even if it's the junk drawer in the kitchen that you've been able to declutter and condense down, that's motivating to do maybe the drawer next to it. Nice. Or the cabinet around it. Okay. So it's, it's just a process and it's kind of, the whole downsizing process is like eating an elephant one bite at a time.
So we just tackle things. And if we make the action, the motivation will come. Okay. And now you also have a downsizers group, right? Yes, we do. Yes, we do. And that's where we come together. Super important, uh, to support one another. Um, one of my coaches always says your greatest superpower is the ability to ask for [00:10:00] help.
And knowing that there are other people that are struggling with all their dishes and books is a little bit of comfort. And it's like, okay, I'm not doing this by myself. These feelings are valid that I have because I, I, I want to keep the things, but I just don't have the space. And honestly, I don't have the bandwidth to keep up with it.
And that's okay. So it becomes a, uh, really a support group where we encourage one another in our downsizing journeys. So, this isn't something that you're going to do over a weekend. No. It's, uh, months? It could be. You know, it depends on you. If it's a, someone that's been in the home for a number of years and maybe is disorganized, could be a little bit more of a challenge, right?
And yet, sometimes people are dealing with an event that has happened, a health crisis or something along those lines, [00:11:00] and that expedites the process. Right. I'm thinking of a fall, grandma had a fall, she's in the nursing home, she hasn't downsized, they're saying she can't go back home. Right. Now, it's out of her hands, unfortunately, which brings up this thing that's been in the, in the air for the past couple of years, Swedish death cleaning.
Yes. Can you describe that Edith? I know you're in a group. Yeah, I am. I'm in a group and basically it's just what we're talking about. It's looking at things like, for example, the other hidden, um, problem I have. Hello, my name is Edith and I can't part with my linens. I have napkins and tablecloths and runners and I mean drawers and drawers of them.
And, , that would be something that you would look through. You would say, okay, I only need one for the holidays. I don't need a new table setting for every week [00:12:00] of the holiday season, right? Pick one. And then, but as you say, pass it along to someone else who either wants it or needs it. I, kind of meet halfway.
There's, it's a charity here called Out of the Closet and that's where I take all of my stuff. 96 cents on the dollar goes to their mission and that's important to me. Right.
But, you, you see that a lot. And, and I'm going to get her name wrong. Marie Kondo? Mm hmm. Kondo. She's kind of, um, It's a spirit guide for that whole concept. and that, that's basically what it is, what Beth has said, but coming together and, commiserating and saying, okay, um, do you really, and I'm not exaggerating, need over a hundred different napkins?
No, you don't. Holy moly. You know, come on, knock it off. You know. But, but they're Irish linen, you know, so do you know how much it would cost to replace those? Well, yeah, but who's going to? Right. 
But Swedish death cleaning, if you, if you haven't heard the concept, it's really [00:13:00] about getting rid of your stuff. So your descendants don't have to correct out of respect for them and their time, right? Yeah, so, you know, it's just like another guest said if this is my dream is to not go into a nursing home What is my responsibility?
To myself to not end up in a nursing home. So You know, if you have specific things, I guess, that you want to pass on, maybe check with those people and say, is this something that you want? And then keep that, but everything else, you know, I'm sure it would be hard to ask somebody, what of my stuff would you want after, after I'm gone?
I actually had that experience. I used to collect jewelry, as you know, and the collectible costume and some, some vintage jewelry and I had an, as you can only imagine, either the collector or an astronomical amount. And when I got ready to leave that state, it's like, this, this phase of my life is coming to an end.
And so I asked a couple of important [00:14:00] people in my life, and it was a 48 It was a case piece, 48 drawers, so we're not talking insignificant. Choose what you would like, because I figured, let them, and I was astonished, very, very little. They took very, very, very little and I thought, well, that didn't work. So I ended up selling them, as you said, in an estate sale.
But yeah, um, choose what you would like might garner a pretty big surprise, because it's Yeah. Just because you love all those napkins, doesn't mean somebody else wants them at all. Yeah. My mom was, was cleaning out and she's like, anything you would want. I said, I'd really like your pearl necklace that you got when you know, you got married.
She threw it at me. She was not happy that I wanted that. So you never know what emotions, I still kept it. Thank you very much. But you don't know what emotions people have attached to their stuff. So that's. Mm. Kind of tricky. Right. You know, you think they're going to go for [00:15:00] object A, but they really want object B that you paid 19.
99 for and you're like, what's the big deal? Yeah. But they've got a connection to it that you don't have. So tough to navigate that stuff, but it's got to get done. Yeah. And I, I think you can put Swedish death cleaning into practice in a very practical way over time. We spend, , much of our lives.
Building up to the big house, right? So we all got that apart, or we were in that college dorm room and then we got our first apartment and then we bought our first house. That was a little cracker box, but we made it work. I remember one of the homes that we bought. was a very large home. And I said to my grandmother at the time, I don't know how I'm ever going to get furniture for this house.
And she's like, you'll have no problem. Right? I don't think I paid retail for anything, but we were able to fill that house. I've been trying to downsize out of that house ever since. Right. So then you reach a certain [00:16:00] point and you've got to go in the other direction. Yeah. And that makes the downsizing process a little bit easier.
To your point, Edith, you went from a 2, 000 square foot house to a 1, 300 square foot house, you had to make some choices. Yes, there was, there was, you had to. Right. Otherwise, it's going to sit out in the, in the driveway. Yeah. And when you move again, at some point, if you're going from 1, 300 square feet to 900, You'll be able to make those choices at that point because you'll have to, right?
And so that Swedish death cleaning process of making those steps, so I downsize from a 4 3 with a pool to a 3 2 with an office, right? And then my next step is probably going to be a condo or a townhome. And then after that, I'm going to go to a retirement community and it's going to get progressively smaller.
I'm thinking RV. I'm liking the idea of an RV. Okay, well you can just take your house with you. Take your [00:17:00] toothbrush and a couple, a pair of leggings and you're good. That's like living in a tiny house, right? Yeah. You've got to super simplify. Yeah, it's a concept I honestly don't get. Not to get off the track, but RVs are beautiful and people build these tiny houses.
It's like, why wouldn't you just buy an RV? But anyway, that's another podcast for another day. One thing I wanted to mention when you talked about your mom. My mother was famous for saying, and this will be yours, honey, when I'm gone, you know, and this will be yours, honey, when I'm gone to me was this monstrous China cabinet and a really, really big dining table that once upon a time I could have used when I had the big old house.
But mom wasn't gone. Right. So she was gone after I was in the 2000 square foot house and I still inherited those monstrous pieces which are now with the little sister who's got the bull or lit and doesn't like napkins because it just didn't. Didn't fit for me anymore. I didn't fit for my lifestyle at [00:18:00] that point anymore.
Um, so I think that's important too. Maybe if you think You can have this when I'm gone, honey Maybe you ought to offer it now because had I had it when I had the bigger house I really really would have gotten more use out of it And she wasn't getting a lot of use out of it at that time at all. It was just sitting there well, and that leads me to something that think about something that I think is really important and that's the legacy component. That was your mom's way of leaving her legacy for you. But to your point. If you would've been able to take that and invite her over and she could see the table filled with people, that would've been a glimpse into her legacy.
I love that. When she could have enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it was a huge table . Yeah. It was so big that you could set two people on, on the ends. Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah. And it had leaves and, and again, my sister has it now because now she's got, um, the bigger family with the grand, [00:19:00] with the little grandchildren.
But yeah, so we collect, right? And fine line between collecting and hoarding. I mean, you can be a neat and tidy hoarder. You don't have to be one of those scary people on TV. Sometimes, you know, I think I have to say I hoard linens, you know, cause if you're not using, at least once during the year. Isn't that hoarding?
I don't know. Is that hoarding? Well, I think there's probably a classification for that. Um, but it, it's definitely something that I think we need to work through, Edith. I think I'm going to go home and look at those. So if you want to start doing this after you've listened to this podcast, what are some good resources?
, I mean, there's a lot of quick tips. So if you're looking at clothing, for example. Okay. Let's say you need to do that. And I think you could probably do this with napkins on some level. They are textiles. I, once a year, I turn all the [00:20:00] hangers backwards in my closet.
Okay. And at the end of the year, I see which ones I still haven't turned around, because that means I haven't worn them. Hmm. And so, at that point, I go through the process of removing the ones. Now, some of them are special to me. dress I was wearing the day I got engaged. I'm not going to get rid of that.
I've got one of my great grandmother's dresses. I'm not going to get rid of that because those are precious to me. Right? They're beautiful. They may not be useful anymore, but they're beautiful to me. So I'm keeping those, but it does. make me go through the closet once a year. And so the napkins could be, all right, I'm putting them out and we're going to start using them every night at dinner.
We already do. Then you're going through them and they're useful. We use the same ones. Okay. But so there you go. Right. So that tells you there's your answer. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm [00:21:00] comfortable with these. Yep. I might use those if I had company coming over, but the other 482 Maybe not. Right. And so can I keep the 10 from South Africa?
We haven't used those yet. Yeah. And call me cause I like linens too. Oh, okay. You can bless them to Beth. But no, , the, one of the concepts I got from that Swedish group was again, like you're saying about clothing, pick one out for, you know, one for Easter, one for whatever. And that made, Such good sense to me.
Have I done it? No, but so the action is motivating. So here we are We've got maybe a holiday coming up. Just think about that one holiday, right and what you would use for that Actually, we have we have lovely lovely set of Irish linen that was given to me by Someone we've had on the podcast It was in her family and she said I'm never gonna use it Um, and I know [00:22:00] you will.
And honestly, it is so beautiful, it would work for every holiday. I can't believe I just said that, and now it's going to be caught in perpetuity now have accountability. Now I'm on record. You didn't know this was an intervention. No, I didn't. You, you tricked me. But it could, it could. It very well, very well could be because it is that beautiful and classic.
Our organizer also teaches us that every day. You should be doing some decluttering. And that could be walking into your house and looking at the, uh, curio cabinet. Mm hmm. Is it beautiful or is it useful? Everything in there. I'm taking an inventory. I enjoy looking at it. I'm going to keep it. Okay. I've done my decluttering for the day.
I've decided I'm going to keep those things at this stage in my life. Um, whenever you bring something in, are you taking something out? Mm. That sort of thing. So. Constantly looking at things. Are they beautiful? Are they useful? [00:23:00] Why do I have them? All right. I know with great transitions, you've got a lot of great seminars available on YouTube.
So how could somebody find that out? Sure. , our website has the links to our Facebook page as well as our YouTube channel. So that's gtflorida. com. And, , there are also seminar archives on that website. You can look there. There are blogs that provide some interesting information and connections to all of our educational partners, like A DRC.
Awesome. Wonderful. Thank you so much for being here. We really do appreciate it. 
Pleasure 
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Today's episode was recorded at ADRC's podcast [00:24:00] studio. That's it for now. We are looking forward to our next visit.